Dealing With Setbacks: Acknowledge Your Emotions

Are you old enough to remember Captain Kangaroo and his sidekick Bunny Rabbit?  Bunny Rabbit would pull the rope and dozens of ping pong balls would rain down on Captain Kangaroo’s head.  Sometimes, life feels like it’s raining little miseries (or big ones)….setbacks, new crises, one after another.  So, how do you keep going under that constant barrage of life?

First, admit that you need to acknowledge your emotions.  It’s okay.  They’re real.  The trick is to feel your emotions without wallowing.  This may sound a bit goofy but set a timer.  How long do you need to feel bad….five minutes, fifteen, thirty?  No more than thirty minutes (sorry).  Then, let her rip.  Feel the anger, at your kids, at the person you are taking care of, at God or the Universe, at your mother-in-law (no physical violence or yelling at someone, please)….feel the frustration, “Again, another thing to deal with, are you KIDDING ME?”….feel the disbelief, “I can’t believe this is happening to me.”

If you are alone, feel free to scream (just make sure the neighbors won’t call the police).  Punch a pillow.  Cry.  Type out an angry scree that you will delete when the timer goes off.  Write in a notebook and rip it up.  Stomp your feel.  Curse.  Throw rocks in a pond (be careful of the ducks).  Whatever you need to do to really let the emotions out.

Then, when the timer goes off, STOP.  Dry your eyes, wash your face, take a deep breath.  You have given yourself permission to feel your emotions.  Now, you need to get on with your life.  Wallowing will not serve you.  You need to figure out how to take some control back.  We’ll deal with that tomorrow.

     we’ll get through this, we always do, gretchen